22 or 23 and Still Studying - The Dilemma in the Transition to Adulthood
As I am approaching my final academic semester in UM, this is an article that I would like to share
with everyone that comes across my blog for Form 6/STPM advices and opinions (I
started this blog writing about Form 6), my recent contents on education and
politics, or maybe just simply because the topic of this article caught your
eyes.
So
technically, I am 23 this year. I studied Form 6/STPM for Pre-U which results
in me lagging at least a year behind many of my peers. For the past couple of
years I’d seen my peers and even high school juniors graduated and started
their full-time career in their respective industries and my relatives starting
to step up the ladder in their career. The outcome from witnessing these
events, especially the peers same age as me are getting out to the working world, is a
mixed and complex feelings on my current state – 23 and still studying while
the peers around me are starting to work and earn.
As a
result, many questions popped through my mind:
“After
studying for so many years, what is the thing that I truly want?”
“What
if I could not afford to buy a house/car?”
“Which
sector/industry should I be entering?”
I
guess I am not the only one to have these dilemmas and feelings, which are especially
strong when we see our friends of same age (and even younger ones) graduating
and starting to work, as well as when the topic of discussion goes around on
work in a gathering.
The
thing is, we aren’t teenagers anymore. At this stage, we are not at the times
where we could put away all our doubts and problems should they arise, nor are
we at the times where we are holding the full responsibilities like a
full-fledged adult (let just admit it, even if you are working at this age you can
barely take care of your own expenses with your current salary). At this stage,
we are in the middle of nowhere, trying to figure out our very own direction
and identity.
Self-doubt
kills
At
this stage, especially if we are still studying, it is easy to feel the pressure
not only externally, but also from within. The fear of being a year slower, the
fear of losing our advantage, the fear of uncertainties and the fear of not
being good enough. In short, there are so many fears and anxieties, we start to
doubt on our capability to face the future that is unpredictable.
The
irony is, self-doubting kills. It kills off our confidence, it kills off our
creativity and it kills off our instinct to see and follow our true purpose in
life. Self-doubting cause us to become impatient, and while we are wasting our time
worrying about a future that we cannot control, we are losing out on the precious
moment of present where we are truly living in.
Stop
Looking So Far Away
After
so many Chinese New Years that I’ve been through, I’ve gotten a sense on how
wrong our society has become. Every single Chinese New Year (or other festive
seasons), we are asked on our plans for the future, where we would want to work,
when we are getting a partner, when we are getting married etc. I call this
the pressure of the society. The fact is, this phenomenon impacts us more than
we think. Many of us, in order to answer these questions, started to look upon
the far future that we cannot predict (eg. due to pressure of the society I had
to make up my mind on what I want to become in the future after SPM (come on, how many people knows what they
truly want after SPM?), from radio DJ, physiotherapist, sports scientist
and eventually I entered Form 6 because I could not make up my mind on what I
wanted become at that period of time.)
Hence,
the thing we should be doing is to stop looking so far away, and start living
at the present.
Be
Mindful of the Present
The
reason, that
people are having the dilemmas and feelings towards the various fears of the
future, is because many of us are not living fully in the present.
We
are often brought away by the new trends around us and distracted by our own
self-doubts and as a result we lose our focus on the essence of being a human –
to find our true purpose in life.
Therefore,
fellow 22s and 23s that are still studying, or finding yourself lack of
direction, or simply finding life demotivating, start to be mindful of the
present. The thing that we have in comparison to our peers that are already in
the workforce, is the luxury of time.
We
need start to live in the moment. Start getting a life. Start living healthily.
Start enjoying every moment from now on.
The book
that you always wanted to read? Read them. The sports that you always wanted to
try? Do them. The projects or ideas that you always wanted to do? Make them a
reality. The topics or subjects that you are interested in? Make sure you
become the best in them.
Stop
wasting time sleeping too much and too late. Stop worrying so much about the
far future that you cannot control and predict. Most importantly, stop doubting
yourself.
You're a great writer. It's true, self doubt kills. I couldn't agree more. I was a bright and active student during highschool. But things changed when I got into college. I am just studying diploma while all my peers had finished their pre U programs and now they are enrolling Degree level. In 20, these whole "you're one step behind" things are killing me everyday. I always feel i am not good enough, and i am now becoming so passive, i always hesitate. And when people don't acknowledge me, it always bothers me and sometimes got me thinking maybe i am not exactly what people wanted. Truthfully, since i got into diploma life, I'd never ever felt proud of myself. Not even once. But you're a great person, your writings are very inspirational.
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